'Campus Writing'

Twisted and tangled, are my emotions

Up- down, right- left

Every day a new reason

To keep my eyes wet.

A misery deep down

Every Moment when I was alone

Remembered her promise

To make it a home.

Those dreams- terrifying

Those realities- horrifying

Puts my soul on dying

And I end up just crying

Lips yelling for your help,

Reached no where

They are silent now

And yet unheard.

My soul’s painted blue

Now you have made me stand in the same queue

I am trying

to fix myself

with shivering soul and body

but my heart’s at your custody.

Your thoughts keep hurting me deep

And in the dreary nights

Your painful words

Perilously lull me to sleep

Moon the magnificent spectator

Of our love

Now portray

What you refrained to say.

Dawn breaks with my wet eyes

Lips comforting me with your lies.

Hide yourself

Don’t uncover my soul

Unheard my lips

‘cause they might never stop accusing you

For your nips..

Stop calling you as god’s creation

There’s nothing as heart and soul

You chose but

God never assigned you those role. 

Some time you will be brought out of those fake lanes

and then you will be forced to see your sins

how deep you left me

with those unforgivable pains.

Deep Sankar Ghosh

KIIT School of Biotechnology

Coz with time ,
You conquer your fears
Accept your faults
Get over your hurt

Do away with the Useless
Respect the Wise Ones
Love the Deserving
Protect the Feeble

You Learn to
Forgive Those Who’ve
Wronged You
Time and Again.

You learn to
Survive the extremities
That Life exposes
Your young soul to.

You Turn Wiser
As your mane turns grey
With every strand
And with Every memory.

You begin to Search
For your True Calling
Pursue your Interest
Like Silk catching Fire.

You set your Life 
Ablaze with Action
And Value those Who
Fan Your Flames.

You learn that
The Exterior Is 
A Mere deception
To distract you.

And that Love
Is not Found or Hunted
But experienced
Deeply And Nurtured.

Separation is strife
And with strife
Comes Pain 
Like no other.

Your emotions become
Your vulnerability and
Your Strong Anchor
To Your Humanity.

In troubled times
Your past deeds
Come to your Aid to
Free You and your comrades.

You learn that Joy
Is profoundly beautiful
And only increases
As you spread it.

And the Past 
Never remains shackled
What Goes Around,
Comes Back around.

That Blood Speaks
Louder than any
Other Liquor
You may have fancied.

That Your beauty
Lies in how you 
Take defeat with the same
Dignity as Victory.

And finally,
Gratitude is Golden.
While God is Love
And your Soul is in Peace.

Life, as a Human
Is Worth Only If
The Human realises
Its True Potential.

Shreya Sudesh

कई बार गिरा हू, कई बार उठा हू, 
इसी तरह मैने चलना सीखा हे, 
घायल हुआ हू कई बार, 
इसी तरह मेने जीना सीखा हे, 
आँधियो ने कई बार मेरी जड़े हिलाई हे, 
तूफ़ानो ने कई बार मेरी शाखे झुकाई हे, 
जिंदा हूँ की मेने जीना सिख लिया, 
जीतने लगा हूँ की मेने हार को कई बार पी लिया, 
लेकिन हार का स्वाद मुझे अब भी नही भाता हे, 
हर हार के बाद मेरा आधा खून जल जाता हे, 
दुनिया ने कई बार मुझे दफ़नाने को लगाया हे ज़ोर, 
पर मेर दिल हर बार कहता हे, 
उठ जा बस एक बार ओर… 
एक बार ओर… 
बस एक बार ओर…….

Ankit Tiwari

ATMC

ankit91827@gmail.com

About time, I wrote something for myself. I have always written for my people, my ‘inspirations’ I call them. The narcissist within, didn’t make it easy, but then kindness and gratitude were virtues I held high or maybe I had been bred to display only these personality traits publicly. I suffer from MPD, I guess. People have advised me in the past, owing to some, said, self-destructive tendencies, that I must learn to love myself, before I claim to love someone. Fools, I must say. I revere myself.

‘Hey! Something terrible happened to me. I could use some advice.’

I often hear myself saying it. But such fickle-minded I have become, that none of the advices, I ever follow. Fair warning, I don’t want you judging me. It is just to lament and I don’t think some of the views or may be all of the views I have expressed, will do you any good or be constructive in anyway. Just expressing, so I don’t go mad!

What am I thinking, when I shout out ‘S.M.S.’? Is it to gain sympathy and think that there are people out there who shall be empathetic? Really, really understand what I am going through? You know, in case I never made it through, there would be someone who shall testify my sufferings to the world.

 Sometimes, I have just let the storm destroy me. Sometimes, I have just stood numb. Sometimes, I have run halter-skelter as far as I could before giving in. And a small number of times the storm has astonishingly subsided before even wreaking havoc on my ever nascent resolution to succeed, courtesy, the almighty, all-enduring, supernatural being above.  But, never, never ever has any mortal companion stood by me as I fell, almost from where I had risen. Do not tell me it was God’s bidding. It was sheer failure of everything that I believed in, of all my principles and values and dreams and ambitions…a man-made failure.

Not even that, no more shall I ever divulge intimate things about myself even to my closest confidante, such is my distrust for humanity now. I learnt, ‘Don’t tell the world what is wrong with you; they’ll judge you, take undue advantage and loads of other stuff’. Now advices like these have made me more and more introvert about my problems.

There is another set of people, who will say unless you voice your opinions aloud, people shall never know what you are thinking and going through. But then why make oneself vulnerable? Well, I tried this too. Doesn’t work. People end up thinking, I am going insane.

Then there were my ‘walls’. People who I only told stuff and never let them criticize me. It was too much for them, I guess, to live their own share of troubles then endure mine too, without any word against me and my fantastically pathetic curses and mean words. Unfortunately, I have given up that habit too. And I wish them happier lives without me.

Well, then a possible solution would be to have trusted people listen to you, counselors, who are specially trained to talk to you and make you feel good about yourself. Tried this too. No counselor is with you always. It’s a feel good thing for small time duration, after which it is as if the effect of felix felices has worn out! 

There have been worse people I have trusted. People who have made my darkest secrets public and some who have shun me in the need of the hour. Some, felt that I am incapacitated to do any work due to my personal problems. And this was brought an end to the professional face I had striven to put forth. Perseverance doesn’t matter to me anymore. Prioritize anyone? I never will.

Such naivety did I display, that I happen to have asked for too much from mortals, composing the likes of what follows:

‘There will be dark times ahead for me,

When I’ll break under the sheer enormity of load,

At those times be there, not out of sympathy or to help,

But to remind me, of who I once was,

When I had you not, I still made it through,

Now when I have you, how could things go wrong?

But so much will I be in pain and angst, that my own self shall desert me,

Be then my voice to God and plead for my salvation,

So that in eternity, shall I get to rest in peace…

Then there will be happy moments passing by,

And I alone will not be able to gather them,

At those moments be there, cherish them with me,

But do remind me of the trauma, I may have gone through,

As I had you, I have made it through,

Now that you are forever with me, everything will happen right!

But let me not exalt in this momentous happiness,

Be now my voice to God and thank Him for OUR bond,

So that beyond eternity, I shall get to be with YOU…

 Will you be there for me in times so contrasting? Now that you know what it shall entail…?’

I guess those who answered in the affirmative forgot to bring to my notice the ‘conditions apply’ clause of their affirmations.

I am not proud of what I have done. But then I do not think I am at fault. First you enter my ideal world and then you change my perception about trying to live in your so-called real world. And then, you leave me alone, for you say that’s how one has to survive in the real world. Apologies, but I’ll take my chances. I shall continue to reside in my virtual world, as you call it, where everything is perfect. There is only positivity to talk about. Nobody contradicts me. I choose what is right and wrong for me, as and when I like it, yes of course to my whims and fancies. All this while you shall have been cursed and would have suffered for causing an unbalance in my world for eternity.

Well, what now? If I have such a clear understanding, of the complexities and of the modus operandi of the ‘real’ world, why do I lament then?

People break down. There have been several times I have broken down. So much is the burden; I think it would be wise to let some out in my favorite form of outburst, via writing. Yes, I crack when I write, for I write only heart pours.

I put forth this piece to be adjudged in this “FREE SPEECH” contest, but so much I am scared of associating myself with my entangled thoughts, I’d not want to display my identity. Any chance it’s just karma haunting me? And will eventually get tired, cause I am just too arrogant to fall out in disgrace.

27865ynxda@gmail.com